If you ever find yourself confused as to whether you’re in Warwickshire or Worcestershire, don’t worry—most of the members don’t know either. The two Provincial Grand Conclaves of the Order of the Secret Monitor have reached a level of “closeness” that is less “diplomatic alliance” and more “identical twins sharing a wardrobe.” They share members, venues, and presumably, a very specific brand of extra-strength mints.

On Sunday, February 15th, the OSM crews and their much-more-patient ladies descended upon King’s Freemasons’ Hall for their second annual social. This wasn’t just a lunch; it was a strategic gathering of the “W’s.”

The afternoon was steered by the two Provincial Grand Supreme Rulers: Right Worthy Brother Dennis Freshwater (Warwickshire) and Right Worthy Brother Robert Vaughan (Worcestershire). It’s rumoured that if they ever stand too close together, the sheer amount of “Right Worthiness” creates a localised gravity well.

The guest list was a literal “Who’s Who” of regalia. We had the Grand Supreme Ruler, Most Worthy Brother Andrew Sweeney, and a high-ranking contingent from the Order of the Scarlet Cord, including Francis Spencer and Graham Holden. With this much “Summus” in the room, the collective wisdom was high enough to solve cold fusion, though they mostly focused on the roast beef.

However, the real sorcery (aside from the logistics of the seating plan) came from Worshipful Brother John Milner. He provided table magic and a post-lunch show that left the room genuinely baffled. It’s a brave man who performs sleight of hand in a room full of people trained to spot a misplaced secret sign, but Milner succeeded in making logic—and possibly a few dessert spoons—vanish entirely.

It was a fantastic afternoon of camaraderie. Here’s to the special relationship: may the bond remain strong, the magic remains baffling, and the Worcestershire sauce stay in the Worcestershire Conclave.